When life hands you lemons

When I first stared my blog, I specifically called is a lifestyle blog as opposed to a food blog.  It seems like it’s turning more and more into a food blog, as that’s where my passion lies, however I wanted to have the option to write about whatever is in my heart and on my mind.  So, here I go.  Some of you that are reading this know me well, and some probably not.  So I’ll start by explaining myself a bit.  I’m pretty closed off.  I wouldn’t say I’m unfriendly, but I’m definitely not an open book.  I don’t easily share my feelings with people, even close family and friends, nor do I always tell everyone what’s going on behind closed doors.  I do feel like it’s a bit of a flaw; I often wish I could be more of an open book but it’s not in my nature.  When my mom was diagnosed with cancer in May of 2012, I followed this to a T.  I eventually told my friends what was going on, but I wasn’t good about keeping them up to date, or telling them how I was really feeling about everything.  I didn’t go shouting from the roof top that my mom had cancer.  I have so many regrets about that.  I see my mistakes now.  I truly believe that if I had used the powers of social media earlier in her illness, we could have found better doctors and a better treatment plan.  I can’t change that now, all I can do is look forward.

layla-and-mommy

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A letter to my daughter on her first birthday

layla birthday shot

To my daughter on her first birthday,

Layla – it’s hard to put into words how I feel today.  A year ago, you were born.  A year ago, on this day, for 23 hours and 51 minutes I didn’t know you – I didn’t know you were a girl – I didn’t know your name [Full disclosure – I didn’t know your name for another 24 hours after that].  You came into this world and I was forever changed.  You have made me smile more than I thought was possible – you filled a void in my heart that I didn’t know was empty. When you were born, the nurses in the hospital all consistently said a few things.  She is beautiful.  She is strong.  She will tell you what she wants.  At the time, I didn’t really get it.  How could a newborn exhibit such a personality already?  But they were right – boy were they right.  I am, of course, biased.  But I’ll say it.  You are the most beautiful baby I have ever laid my eyes on.  You have this sparkle in your eyes that melts hearts.  When you smile your whole face lights up.  I don’t have to be biased to know that you’re strong.  At a year, you are walking (practically running) and climbing everything in sight.  You are the opposite of a laid back baby – you are pretty vocal about getting when you want.  So, a year later, I’d like to say those nurses were right.

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